Our Global Hotplate….

The temperature is predicted to reach 100 degrees today and its only June28th.  For East TN this is a very hot forecast. These temperatures always cause people to use twice as much electricity to keep cool than a typical day in the low nineties. i am burdened with the planet heating up and people going about their daily lives as if there is no connection at all to the way we live and the Earths atmosphere heating up. Instead there are people running around to every store to buy everything they can to keep cool or what they think they need to keep cool. Using more gas and cranking up the A/C to fullblast and buying more and more throw away products. They are too hot so they dont cook. they will just sit in the drive through lane for twenty minutes to order fake food to take home to the family. Every step of this behavior only creates more pollution which further compromises our air quality.  I do not justify the behavior of people smoking and making the rest of the nonsmoking world tolerate their pollutive smoke; but its really no worse than the nonsmokers trudging their SUV’s everywhere rather than staying put. How can we get people to see that we need a wakeup call? A major power outage would really get the attention of the drone ants out there who keep going without consideration of the rest of the world around them. The National Weather Center stated that we are expected to see temperatures rise to 108 by Saturday! I am sad to consider that my efforts are not even putting a dent in the state of our planet.  I am at least consoled a bit by the efforts made within my family to keep the A/C off so far this year.  We have a big house and it would costs hundreds every month to keep it moderately cool through the use of central air.I want to create an event to get peoples attention. I want to see how far this will reach. the Mayans , the Hopis and the Khogi Indians all predict that we will face “game over” this December if we do not change our ways this very minute. We all need to stop stop stop the madness of consumerism and convenience and sucking the life out of this massive amazing planet we call home(for now)  We can leave differences in religion , faith and politics aside and all stand in unity together across this whole globe to say that a serious change needs to take place regarding all the natural disasters and the connection they have to our environmental issues and the horrendous pollution we are creating for nothing noble at all. I want to try to convince 1 billion people to shut down all their power for 24 straight hours. Turn off the main breakers in the house. The cell phones all go off for 24 hours. No peeking. Nothing plugged in your house should have power. Do not drive anywhere. pitch a tent if you have to. Do not buy anything or use anything electrical for 24 hours straight. Many will find alot of negative reasons as to why this is not a good idea or why it WONT work. I dont care to hear about it. We all WONT work if this emergency situation isnt tended to immediately. Many people will not even consider this challenge because they are too faithful to live through their ego to consider such an inconvenience. If we do not power down now then you can be sure its only a matter of time before the grid goes down due to system overload. I have been dreaming of this. For many many years. Many others have been dreaming of this same thing. its now really about convincing others moreso than it is about gathering all the dreamers together for one great common cause.  You do not necessarily read the papers anymore or watch too much mainstream news broadcasts. You have been frustrated for years over all the severe LACK of real information in the news.  You have grown apathetic to the common community projects because something inside you feels something so much bigger than you calling for attention. You may not be able to explain why you feel called to this challenge but you know within your very being that you are destined for this. You know who you are. You feel an imminent urgency of epic proportions on the horizon of our time here on Earth. You do not understand but you know this is a real feeling inside of you. Why are you here? Why are any of us here? to Watch tv every night and eat food prepared by machines then sold to us? Are we here to just simply exist day in and day out until we are old and then die? For such a grand place as this planet is, what a total waste of magic. Every day we do not quest to find out our reason for being humans here on this planet right now is another day wasted. Why would the Earth keep spinning for prime time tv? Why would it keep spinning for McDonald’s dollar menu? Or for the Lady Vols? The Superbowl? Mtv music awards? Christmas? is that why we are here? To collect as many christmases as we can? If this question strikes you brighter than it has before than i urge you to unclutter your life and remove all the distraction you can and consider why you are here? If you can find peace in the idea that you are not here to live the banal lives we have found ourselves in most of the day then what can it hurt you to take on this challenge? Consider that all the crap we put in our everyday is whats making this planet unable to sustain life.  The water is undrinkable without intervention and treatment. The earth wont grow food unless you clean up your lawn. MOst people wouldnt dare consider even growing their own food. They were raised on grocery stores and they bore children and raised them on grocery stores and restaurants.  Noone is expecting you to shut down your whole life. Its one day. 24hours of bicycles, and walking and hiking and resting and reading and praying and laughing and sharing and stopping all the noise vibrating throughout our houses this very minute. 90percent of the animals that onced lived on this planet are now extinct. Shame on you and shame on me. What if something wiped out 90percent of the human beings right now? That would get your attention. We are at the tipping off mark. Change has to begin now. That doesnt mean hold weekly rallies where people DRIVE cars and trucks and buses and airplanes to meet and discuss our global environmental crisis. It means do not stop even on your bike at any store to buy anything that requires throwing away TRASH . If you shut down it means you avoid all companies who have their power on. NO fans or heaters. No cooking with anything other than natural fire  . NO computers, laptops, cellphones, mp3 players can actually hold power for longer than 24hours so it wouldnt hurt to listen to tunes in desperation. I believe we can find 1 billion people who see we are in a state of emergency. I would hope to have at the eleventh hour a global rally where we all stand in unison wherever we are and to be mindful of the power of one. of unity. If you are one who prays then you pray . if you or agnostic or atheist then you sit in agreement with your fellow man , beast and living thing.  This is not going to be something to print millions of tshirts for. I hope not for this cause to go global only for people to spend more time sitting on their rumps over the internet or tweeting more. Technology has NOT made our lives easier. its created havoc on our ecosystem and only seperated people from the truth in connecting with one another. Why give our whole lives to corporations yet suffer to find one 24hour period to give back to our mother earth?  without the nourishment of this planet then we are no more. NOw is the time to stop the clock. Before our time runs out. We are all dying anyhow , so why not spend some quality time trying to keep the clock going for others before the clock stops on its own?

Dearest Cath……

It seems strange as it always has writing letters to you because there has been an ongoing connection so strong since we first me that this letter seems far more for me and my simple understandings than a missive for you.  🙂  I last spoke with you via text message when Osa died.  I still miss him.  Strange things jog my memory of him.  I was driving past a waffle house(we like to dub it the awful house)we visited the morning after he got hurt. We had to drive to Maryville to get him from the Emergency Care because they closed at 6a.m. and Osa was in too rough of shape and they didnt allow patients to stay.  We had to take him from there to our vet in Seymour.  I had not slept so this was quite an exhausting journey.  We didnt know what to do after we left him and G and i were so emotional and in shock that we didnt want to go home just yet. So we went to the awful house.  I am spoiled on organic range free eggs from our friends D and K (though i am vegan and rarely eat them anymore)that the eggs at the awful house taste truly awful.  I drove past this new branch the other day and it made me miss him so bad as it reminded me of that morning. G took me home after we ate at the awful house then he left for work.  I made a fire in the North all day for Osa( i guess for me too)I prayed hard that he would go so that i didnt have to make the choice to end his suffering. I guess that was his gift to me. To help me let go.  The interesting turn of things had it set forth to bring upon a new dog soldier to our home. Neo. He is an Australian Shepard /huskey mix.  Black with tan and white stockings on all four legs and tan and white cheeks.  He has blue eyes with his lower right eye splashed with dark brown over half of it.  I will have to tell you how he came to us another time.  He is quite afraid of men.  He is of strangers but he doesnt panic around females or kids like he does men. Isabella moved her toe on the footrest the other day and his whole body flinched. I keep coming up with these different stories in my mind as to who he was as a pup and where he may have come from.  Everything about Neo is a mystery to me except that i know in less than one months time we have grown to love each other.  G takes it personally at times that Neo is frightened of him but he’s patient with him. Neo teaches patience. Noone would dare lose their patience with him because you can tell it would make your own heart hurt worse than any mini panic Neo might experience. G and i had a fight recently after Neo had only been with us a few days. he ran and hid under our bed and when we yelled at each other he even growled for a second. I felt like a total failure of a human for feeding and ugly argumentative vibe and risking very fragile trust with my new dog soldier.  There was a break in the rain this morning and so i decided to take Neo out on a walk as it was late and i usually walk him before eight in the morning.  I let him off the leash last nite to enjoy being on our property. I had created a routine with Neo right away of taking him on a walk three times a day. We built up the distance so we could meander through the valley and wooded edge before heading back up the drive and around the small loop here on top of the hill where our house is.  You could tell he was excited that i let him off his leash last nite. I was nervous to let him stay outside because in my selfishness i didnt want him to run off.  I wanted him for my dog soldier/my friend…my pet. In the middle of the night the rainstorm welled up so loud that it woke me from a hard sleep.  I yelled for Neo as if i was thinking of him even as i slept.  I jumped out of bed and ran outside to call for him. In a few seconds he came bouncing out of the darkness towards the light i had just flipped on the porch.  It took a few minutes of coaxing and a piece of turkey meat but i got him inside.  He immediately ran under the kitchen table for safety but i was relieved to have him inside from the wild rain outside. That was somewhere around 4a.m.  Pushing towards ten the next morning I was eager to get my body in that walk mode and to get Neo outside and one more day closer to being more comfortable around me and his new home. He loves to dart towards my bedroom and hide under the bed for twelve hours at a time …so though i felt like a bully keeping him from his hidingspot I thought it would help him avoid getting a big comfort zone noone could penetrate.  I had the collar in my hand and of course he ran under the table again.  Something inside of me spoke so audibly clear and knowingly that it was almost as if a message had been sent from my brain to my body and it obeyed even before i realized my idea.  I put the leash on the table and propped open the door , stepped back to the edge of the porch and called for Neo.  As i backed away he poked his head out to look for me as i called him. I decided that we had taken enough walks in this first month together that he has a good idea of where he is.  Just as i had hoped he followed out of the house and off the porch. Our first walk side by side with NO LEASH! I was so happy that i bounced on our walk together and i even giggled out loud halfway through our route. he he .  On our way back up from walking the front portion of our property we stopped in my garden and he hung out with me while i spent nearly an hour weeding the crops! We are building this connection and i think he trusts me better because i have learned to look straight into his eyes. This is hard to do with huskeys having two different color eyes. G has blue eyes and i have brown so i thought this to be especially sweet.  I talk to him when we walk together. It helps me get out of my own head.  I had to board him at our vets just two weeks after getting him and it was quite a challenge.  I couldnt expect much support regarding my crazy feelings about it from G because he felt we should wait to get a new dog soldier until after a few of our festivals.  I couldnt bear to have him put back in that disgusting cage(though a fabulous facility and program the animal shelter had)  so i brought him home almost as if i had been hypnotized to do so. thats my story and im sticking to it. Seriously, he chose us just as much as we chose him.  I am so excited to have him hang with me though.  Of course he is at the moment back UNDER our bed fast asleep. 🙂 I have been thinking alot about you. When i feel overwhelmed as if the world is gonna swallow me whole i think how you may handle such a feeling. I wish i were near you because you make everything feel as if its gonna be ok when i am around you.  Some things never change. I feel as if i am climbing an uphill battle of mindfulness in a world where mosts people are clueless to mindful awareness. I spend more time fending off the reactions and attitudes and behavior of others who do not reach beyond the banalities of this typical world we roam around in on a daily basis. its exhausting. I am not saying that i think i am better. We are all the same.  Most do not realize this though.  I am tired. If i were closer in proximity to you then perhaps i could bear this world a bit better with your sense of humor to keep me going.

I know i may seem self centered at times by not asking the typical questions most people ask in such correspondences like” how is the husband and grandchildren yada yada” , but my heart is stuck to what we have connected on.  I do care how your life is going. I care that you are at peace and that you are joyful.  I care mostly about what you have to teach me and how i can be better as a result of my exposure to you. I miss you. How perfectly suitable that the song” Waiting on a world to change ” just came on the  satellite radio.  Of all the mysteries in this world i am most baffled that i managed to survive to this ripe old age of 40 without totally losing track of all my basic senses and awareness. Thank you for all them prayers …haha. they are working so far. (many may dispute this statement but i prefer to selectively overlook such narrow minded individuals. 😉 Do you hear me? Can you feel the strong vibes i am sending you? I love you by the way . Beyond this galaxy.

reaching higher…

The ancient Mayans believed as the native Americans today still believe  that life and the path we find ourselves on is all about remembering.  They believe that all the truth and Knowledge of the universe and of all our yesterdays and tomorrows is  within us.   etched in our DNA.  They believe that all we need to know …we already know if only we would peel back the layers we have wrapped ourselves in , we would find the truth, the tools, the ultimate in who we really are and who we are meant to be.  Why do we try to so hard to forget when our very essence holds all this truth?  Truth is not relative to the seeker. Your truth may allow you to see that all plants and trees of this world are actually black, yet from the beginning of time the general truth is that all plants and trees are green. Is there only one truth? Perhaps if we all find our truth we can find how it blends perfectly with everyone else’s truth once they find and live it?  In my search for remembering the ultimate truth of my existence, my path, i am forced to remember where it all started for me. Where this path of mine began. Where i came from.  The memories do not come in chronological order for me.  LIke flashbacks  swift and random they inundate me whenever they choose. Or am i the one choosing these moments of remembering?

Terry(short for Tyrone) was in the living room.  I was hiding behind the couch.  i can still hear my sister Keller screaming.  The pounding of my heart nearly drowned her out as i could hear it beating loud from my ears, my chest, my skin.  Terry was laughing and before i ran behind the couch i saw the look of pleasure on his face. Even at age 7 i knew to question what is wrong with someone who would find pleasure in such morbidly grotesque behavior. I do not remember where my brother Mitchell was.  I knew i was NOT dreaming and this was really happening. I knew Terry was a monster but i wasn’t old enough yet to think ten steps ahead of the game in order to guess what might happen next.  That came later.  My mind was racing yet it seemed i could not form one complete thought.  This was my first memory of experiencing panic.  Mom was never home and my bully (mild understatement) brother Terry was up to his mind games with us.  He came up with the idea to take his own fecal matter and chase us around the house with it.  He kept yelling that he was gonna make me wear it, make me taste it.  Are there words to describe a seven year old girls moment of terror?  I tried to reason with myself that at least he wasn’t angry and ready to use one of us as a punching bag.  I tried to wrap my brain around the idea that he was going to catch me being soo much bigger and stronger.  I tried to prepare myself to accept that he was going to smear this disgusting handful of feces all over me.  Moments like these offer more challenges than opportunity to gain gifts and strengths as its so difficult to know what good can come from surviving this kind of traumatic torture. More often than not, children who grow up in this environment tend to remain more damaged than strengthened.  Retelling the memory forces a surviver to relive every moment described.  I am still unsure if i really gained anything positive or productive from that experience.  Perhaps the gift i received was hidden in the strength required to endure it?

Down with the white man.

People do not want to hear the truth. Not about themselves or the world around them.  We have arrived to a time in our existence where EGO is everything.  Politically correct really means : “Walk softly around someones EGO”  Politicians do not get elected into office because of the bravery in speaking the truth. They are PAID to massage the general mass EGO of our society. Why are you soooo proud to be an American? because some white guy came from another country and bullied thier way into a land ALREADY inhabited by natives and created war in order to draw a line in the damn dirt to say”This is now MY land” Does anyone ever ask WHY we are really here? A line drawn in the sand should have NO bearing on whether you are an American or not. You are a part of the HUMAN race. There are no boundaries in the night sky. There are no borders beyond this world that allow you to proclaim your stake in anything. What does ANYONE really OWN?? Im disgusted in this moment of people’s blind obedience to the “American Way”. HOw easy is it for YOU to obtain your fuel, your water, your food? What have you really done to be so proud of? How many people across the planet suffer at your hands so that you may enjoy convenience, technology, effortless nourishment?  What have you REALLY taught your children? To work hard for a system that will ultimately find a place in the consumer world for them once they are grown? What if it all changed? What would you do if suddenly you could NOT go to a grocery store and buy all your shitty tv dinners?  What if there was no longer ANY electricity to buy? How would you survive? How do you think much of the rest of the planet survives? Why did you choose to see that animals are of lesser value than human life? What is your life about really? If you spent more time on these matters then you would surely not have near the time to stress about how you will afford to pay your bills.  So your kid is an honor roll student. What the hell will that mean in the here after?  Yet you blow up your kids egos with false praises and unearned accolades brainwashing them into believing they are amazing and to believe they should be PROUD to be an American. This country will step on anyone and anything in the world to further its plan for progress. How did civilization survive this far without the almighty dollar?  We spend all our time raising money for causes that could be worthless if we would only STOP making choices which create the need to create the almighty cause.  The white man has time and again proven to be the major culprit in every war, every environmental disaster, every racial uprising or oppression, every DIS EASE we have today is a result of choices made by the white man to further technology.  There was never an epidemic of ADHD or bi polar disorder as there is today. The poor folk are NOT the drain on society you have been programmed to believe. Its the rich , gluttonous white man who distorts everything so that it may be easier to have more than everyone else. There is NO food shortage contrary to all the claims made by charities inundating the cable channels around the globe. Americans WASTE more food they share.  We strip the lands of other people of nutrients and vital medicines so that we may have more gold to sell. We dump more toxic waste into communities so that you have easier access to fuel for your automobile. Most of us born into this way of life have to fight twice as hard to live more mindful of others or fight even harder to get out so that we do not continue to feed the monster the “American Way ” has created. I live in a household with a budget of nearly one hundred thousand dollars. Yet, i’m expected to bring in money to add to this pile of money in order to gain ANY respect from my in laws or our friends in the community.  Unless their is a dollar figure attached to my life then i do not count. I am considered a burden on someone in this out of control financial world we live in.  To walk away means to walk away from my children who are already programmed into this way of life. To walk away is to leave my husband who is an even bigger blind slave to the money monster yet evolving in his path his own way and a wonderful human being undeserving of being abandoned because his wife hates bowing down to this greedy nation. Noone respects the man who is willing to live with nothing and scale back the life of the American consumer. If you want the poisons and chemicals kept out of your food it will cost you twice as much money.  Which requires you to work twice as hard to pay for it. You live like this day in and day out to eventually die leaving nothing behind but bills or money you didnt  spend.To question this madness is to throw yourselves to the white man for judgement and ridicule.  Americans fight about healthcare when the TRUTH is YOU DO NOT NEED IT PEOPLE.  YOu need to eat less crap and get off your ass and burn off the cholesterol and calories by working hard and let your body operate the way it was CREATED to operate.  Diabetes does not have to exist AT ALL.   Heart DIS EASE is your body telling you that you are living wrong. Why are there so many people wearing prescription glasses?  Our world tells us we need all this healthcare and all these shots and all this fake medicine to really say that we were created to be an INFERIOR creation and unless humans intervene then we will NOT survive? bullshit. Thats right. I am calling bullshit. Yet many believe we are the master of all creation on this planet and plants and animals are beneath us.(How would you live if not for the animals and plants you eat?) Imagine how well the rest of life on this planet has faired WITHOUT regular doctor visits and human intervention. IN SPITE of humans involvement in this world its a MIRACLE that life has sustained itself thus far.  Even the so called ENVIRONMENTAL activists will drive across thirteen states to stand and protest against big oil.. Wake up dumbass…the cause you stand for is forcing you to still feed the monster you fight against!  God forbid we suggest people turn off air conditioning. scale back to live OFF the land and WITH the land. Then who would get to be the big shot if everyone were truly equal?  Why are you really proud of your kids who have grown to be successful artists or businessmen and women or wealthy homeowners?  Why are they better than anyone else? because they are further ahead in the money game? they have learned to be better consumers of garbage? Its graduation time and all i hear is how PROUD everyone is that their kids are graduating. If you really think about it…why is that something to be proud of? What are you inspiring your children to be for others? How do they contribute to the over peace and unity of EVERYONE? Is my life better because i live in a three story house and own six cars and look flashy and dazzling in the family photo?  No WONDER everyone is depressed and on some kind of pill or addicted to alcohol , porn, shopping, dieting.  WAKE UP! This planet can only endure so much abuse before it revolts on us all. You watch the evening news with devastation over 250,000 lost souls killed from a tsunami. Yet you do not question why it happened or if it was a result of something that COULD have been prevented(choices YOU made).  You forget about the hundreds of thousands still suffering years later.  You might put a dollar in the bucket at the checkout counter to support relief efforts in devastated areas but overall you end up falling back into your daily lifestyle completely oblivious of the direct CONNECTION of your life choices and the ultimate demise of people who choose or born into a lifestyle that lives in harmony with this land we ALL call home.  i titled this rant “down with the white man” only to get your feathers in a ruffle. To get your attention.  Will you protect your ego so as to feel better about what you do NOT do for others or will you dare to ask yourself the questions i have proposed here? Until more people stand up for what is overall the good for EVERYONE and EVERYTHING….the ego wins and this life as we know it has been one huge waste of time created by something big and magical. We all deserve to know the truth. Can you really handle it? What are you going to do about it? I challenge you to consider doing something beyond attending some ridiculous occupy wallstreet event(faithfully taking a stop by WALMART to buy all your shit to camp out in the middle of some city proving to be as big of a contradiction in terms than you realize) true dat.